Exhausted

I have so many things to blog, so many things to say, but work is slowly sucking the life out of me.  >_<

So now snippets of thoughts are mostly recorded down on Nexy.

But I have no idea when will I find the time to string it all into coherent posts...sigh...

Not Caring

Sometimes I feel like when you care too much about something/someone, you leave yourself vulnerable to getting hurt. I know all that sayings about if you don't care about people, people won't care about you, ya-da ya-da. But maybe my case is a bit different. I find that it stresses me out when I care about what people are doing or saying. And this caring thingy is seriously starting to kill me.

I'm sort of the black sheep in my team. Maybe it's because they speak Chinese and I'm a certified 'banana'. Or maybe it's just because our 'senior' is the ring leader, telling the other two minions to sabotage me. Don't ask me why she's doing it or how I know...just call it a hunch.

They are always talking about stuff, even work stuff, and they just completely ignore me. It's not like I was sitting at the other end of Timbuktu office, my table is just right behind theirs for crying out loud! And the work stuff they talk about is something that I'm also in charge of, but somehow there is a participant in the conversations that has nothing to do with the task at all. When users come to me and ask a question about the task, I'm just left hanging there, without any clue as to what the heck is going on.

So everyday I have to eavesdrop on their conversations so that when I hear them talking about anything work related, I can quickly turn around and roll my chair over to their place just so I won't be left out of the loop. Do you have any idea how freaking tiring this is?!?!?!?!

Today was the last straw. I saw that one of the minions emailed a user about something related to the task I'm involved in and CC-ed the other minion but not me. So I got pissed off, and I made a concious effort to just ignore it when they are chatting on their IM without me, or leaving me out of their conversations, and boy, did it feel GOOD! I just didn't care about what they were doing or saying.

From now on I'll just do my work, lay low, and if upper management ask me why I'm not up to date with the tasks, I'll just say that I'm hired to systems configuration, not hacking into people's emails and spying on them.


P.S. I've actually talked to one minion about this and to include me in discussions next time, but so far, nothing has changed. Oh well, I think end-of-year review with upper management should be a good time to vent.

Addiction

Ok, ever since I started working, I've had more or less 9 hours of internet connection at my disposal. Add to that, the initial 6 months of work consisted of me basically doing nothing. So that's when I was first introduced to online shopping by the boyfriend, who opened up the world of eBay to me.

Initially, I pooh-poohed all those people who said that once you start, you can never stop. And then, I made my first purchase.

From then on, ladies and gentlemen, there was no stopping. It was the thrill of searching for stuff and doing research for the cheapest deal you could get online. Seriously, stuff online is SO much cheaper than in physical shops. I started prowling the site like a recessionista smelling a sale around the corner. And clicking the bid or "Buy it now" button everytime you see something you like never seemed easier. Granted, if you buy stuff internationally like from China, Hong Kong or US, shipping time is a b*tch, because it can take a month before it reaches you.

But eBay could only offer you so much. Which my colleague (devil in disguise?) later rectified by introducing me to Lowyat.net. That's when my condition took a turn for the worse. From a simple dress, I started taking part in makeup sprees and clothing pre-orders. I super love my E.L.F Studio makeup brushes which I got dirt cheap!

eBay and Lowyat were not my only haunts. I did venture to local blogshops to see what they were offering (even bought a pair of to-die-for pumps that are, unfortunately, too big for me *wails*), but I prefered eBay and Lowyat for the cheaper rates offered. And my hoard is growing bigger and bigger! I might need to have a yard sale soon... O.o
Of course, with online shopping, there is a risk that you might not like what you have bought when it arrives at your doorstep. Quality might be bad, colours different from what is shown, or it might not even fit you. But for me, the prices you get online is worth taking the risk. And you can negate some of the risks by doing RESEARCH. I admit, sometimes I get pretty obsessed with the research part because I don't want to end up with an item I absolutely hate. Another plus point is, I've also picked up a lot of beauty tips along the way.

So now, I have bought clothes, shoes, makeup and skincare, all online. Beauty tips were free :D

Now, with all these new stuff, I find the vainpot in me struggling to fight for domination of this currently couldn't-care-less body.

Smelly toilet paper

The toilets in my office have these industrial sized toilet rolls placed at the sinks. And they smell. Like, REAL bad. It smells as if those toilet rolls were made using soiled diapers and dead rats. Or maybe the dead rats were wearing soiled diapers. *rolls eyes*

Sometimes the cleaning lady even puts them in the toilet stalls when she runs out of the smaller sized, "unscented" rolls.

God knows what will start growing if I use it to wipe my va-jay-jay. *shudders*

Boredom schmoredom

Ello. This is me. Blogging again. From office.

Yup, you read that right.

From office.

I’ve just finished the last 7 episodes of Gossip Girl Season 2 (old, I know) in office. Finished scrutinizing every blog I can think of (office finally lifted the ban). Bought a Neti pot on eBay coz I was bored. And now I’m hooked on the site and surfing till I’m seeing stars.

Envious right?

Not really.

I’ve gone past the ‘this-is-fun’ stage and arrived at the ‘rearrange-the-stuff-on-my-desk-24-times’ stage. Being surrounded by junk food is not helping matters either. It’s true when people say that when you have nothing to do, you eat. Whoever that says otherwise can talk to the extra 2 kgs around my middle.

I HATE the people with the remote control to the air-cond in my office. They’re the reason why I have a blankie, jacket and shawl with me at all times. It’s as if they are trying to stimulate the Ice Ages. Well, I hope they go the way of the dinosaurs. *shows hand minus 3 fingers and a thumb*

I think I might also be typing nonsense right now, just for the joy of actually doing something, even if it’s just typing. *type type type type* *clickity clack clack* *type* La-lala-la-la-lala. Hum de dum dum.

Third Month In The Rat Race

Sigh...such a long time since I blogged. What to do, my office blocks practically everything! Can't even Twit, wtf...

This is currently my third month at work. It's ok I guess. Most of the days I'm just 'goyang kaki-ing' coz I'm not really assigned to handle the big stuff yet, being a newbie and all. So most days I just go around looking for things to surf online. FYI, my company blocked MSN, gtalk, Twitter, Facebook, Friendster, MySpace, Blogger, Blogspot, Wordpress...well, basically everything that is even remotely considered as entertainment. Can't even use de proxy evasion website thingy that some people recommended coz they block that too. Haihz...So ppl, u r more than welcome to spam my email with interesting stuff to read. You may even printscreen a few blogs for me to read...a bit despo, but, thank you, thank you XD.

Well, thank god I have Ruby sitting next to me keeping me entertained and sane. My boss is pretty chiller too. What else would u expect from someone who has an eyebrow piercing? She smokes like a chimney, drinks like a barrel, and fancies herself as a German stolen at birth by an Indian couple. O.o Buys us McDs too whenever she calls McDelivery during tea time...wheee~~~~

My office is freakishly cold. Most probably coz Ruby and Boss are aliens from a sub-zero temp planet and they take sadistic pleasure in turning on the air-cond in our department full blast, just to freeze us lesser earthlings. And this is in addition to the centralised air-cond system that is already turned on! I wonder if the Vico/Ovaltine/some-chocolate-drink in the pantry makes people fat. Coz I'm drinking like, 2 cups a day to keep warm. Not like it worked, that's why I went and bought me a blankie from Ikea. <3

All in all, working life has been ok so far. I've even been exposed to some office politics already, but better not talk about it here just in case my collegues stumble upon this blog. :S

Black Friday

A history of my eff-ing crappy day:

• Went to office and found out that my colleague was emo-ing at me. Ignored me for most of the day. Fine whatever, she probably needs me more than I need her anyway.

• Had a headache. Must be caused by my stupid contact lenses which I probably should have changed like about a month ago, but I ran out of supply and I just didn't have the time to stock up (or more like I just couldn't be bothered at the moment).

• After lunch, my tummy decided to throw tantrums. It felt like it was trying to drill its way out of my body.

• Ms Perfectionist me dug my own grave with the stupid Excel spreadsheet I was working on. I just HAD to be so dissatisfied with the formatting and I just HAD to go and change it. And we're talking about 1K-plus of data here! Imagine merging and centering data in more than 1K of rows. Nearly vomitted blood I tell you. That cost me an extra hour and a half at the office. It would have been more bearable if Microsoft had just created a stupid keyboard shortcut for the stupid 'Merge and Center' function.

• Left office, went to my car and found out that it got clamped. The day I decided to drive is the day that the guards decided to check parking tickets in the area where I parked. Bye-bye RM50.

• On the way to Lern's house for dinner, had a fight with my sister. She made me detour to Puchong to feed her dumb dogs. And she didn't even ask, she COMMANDED me to go. She's probably out partying with her friends now.
  

• Nearly had an accident because was SMS-fighting with sister while driving.

• Was late to Lern's house for dinner.

• On the way there, Lern said he was done with his training. If I hadn't made that detour to Puchong, I would have made it in time to pick him up. But now since I was stuck in the jam, his dad had to go pick him up instead. Damn pai seh.
  

So? Crappy or not, you tell me? You tell me???!!!!

And I can predict that it is not over yet. Still have to go home and face stupid sister.

Celcom Commercial

Last month, someone I know couldn't make it for a Celcom commercial shoot coz it starts at night; sometimes these commercial shoots can drag on for 12 hours and she was worried bout that. So she asked me to replace her. The pay was RM100, so why not right? But I was inwardly praying that the shoot won't take long coz I had to work the next morning...I damn hero rite? -_-''

The shoot was supposed to take place at 9.30pm in Cineleisure Damansara. Arrived there on the dot, but as usual, nothing started yet...Met AaronH, JohnJohn, and Edward there also...So hung around with them at McDs. I actually brought my big assed reference book with me coz I had an assignment to submit in 3 days, and I haven't started a thing! Really, really hero....*double swt*

The shoot finally started at around 11.30pm or 12am. Was so tired, coz I had been working the whole day. Luckily all they required me to do was sit in the cinema and pretend to watch a movie while eating popcorn. Managed to sleep a while while they were setting up some stuff in between also. And guess what? It ended half an hour later! Damn fast rite???!!! Woot!!! I was paid on the spot. So basically I went to Cineleisure just to collect RM100...hehehe....

Left Cineleisure and drove like a mad woman back home. I was so sleepy, all I wanted to do was go home and crash (eh, that sounded wrong....not my car la...crash on the bed...) So that's why:

Cineleisure -> Puchong Dalam Dalam = +- 20 minutes

'Keng' leh.....!

OOooo!!! And here's my commercial which I found recently. It's already airing on TV!

I'm the one sitting behind the main character with the 'fro in the cinema....When he moves his head towards the monkey for a kiss you can see me, the girl who's looking kinda bored...Eh, I was sleepy ok!!!!

Young Love

Had to go to work early today. Waited for the RapidKL bus at 5.45am. Near the bushes and under the tress. So scary....it was dark and there was no one around...Summore the other day the newspaper lady told me stories of people being robbed in my area, snatch bag, even old lady's necklace. I kept looking left, right, behind, even looked up just in case someone suddenly dropped from the trees...Ok, so I'm a bit paranoid...but lots of bad shit have been happening to me lately...my house was robbed, my bag got stolen, so you can't blame a girl for being a little paranoid right??? Luckily I only had to wait like, 5 or 10 minutes for the bus....Oooo...and I heard Kedah dialect on the bus today....I felt so excited for some reason...made me miss my hometown. Sigh....

Oh, the other day I was on the bus and there were this group of girls on the same bus. They looked to be like, secondary school kids. At one of the stops, this group of guys boarded the bus and suddenly the girls were all gelabah. It looked like the two groups knew each other....the guys were like, teasing the girls and the girls were pretending to ignore them...Awww....Reminded me of when I was younger and behaved like them also....Gosh, I'm making myself sound so old.....

Got to KL Sentral at 6.30am, and guess what? I was the 1st one there. Typical....the company bus was supposed to leave at 7am, but we only left at 7.25am because of the latecomers...4th day already man, and this same couple is late again....the agent's workers kena diu by the agent for being late...not my group la of course, coz we are always punctual. *kembang*

Paid Sunday

Am at Starbucks now, working. Yup, that's right, I'm being paid to blog and go shopping and sit around and hang out. WOOTS!!! Yesterday, I was at Lot 10, and managed to get Balenciaga purses for Mumi and SissyDear. I owed them like, damn a lot of presents already, and the purses were on sale, so everyone is happy :D Going to 1Utama later. I think I'll try to look for a belated birthday present for Ty....Blue dog plushie sounds like a good idea...Don't know if they make those, but Celine told me that they have a blue Patrick, so must try and look for it later....

Have been home alone since Friday, and I have to say, it was real lonely and sien. SissyDear went to Klang to stay and took the dogs with her. Luckily, I had a guys night out on Friday with Jeff, Steven, TC, JM and Banana, or else I would have gone nuts at home. And why do I call it a guys night out when I'm a girl? Well, it's coz they were checking girls out the whole night :s Kinda missed having the dogs around though. I keep catching myself calling out to them to give them tummy rubs, but then I remember that they're not home... :(

*sniff*

Big Huge Rant #1

I was unceremoniously fired from my post as Head of Administration of my Technical Assistant Team in my college!!! And I had to find that out from Bari...not my boss, CHC himself, but Bari. Bari was just letting me know that I was no longer holding my post (he doesn't have the authority to fire me anyway). CHC couldn't even have the decency to tell me know in person. I had to find out from a third party. Show some respect lah! In an organisation, if you release someone from their post also you'll let them know face to face right? Or at least send them some notification.

Before this, last week, I was reading through the minutes of the Technical Assistant's General Meeting (I wasn't present that day), and it said that 2 other people had volunteered for the post of Admin Head and Assistant. Okay, fine...I decided that I was just going to buat tak tau because the proper procedure for electing a new Board Member was to call a Board Member's meeting and discuss potential candidates first, then only decide. But this was not done, so I decided to just keep quiet about it and see if anyone approches me to inform me about any new changes. No one did. Then today Bari came and told me that the 2 people who volunteered are to become the new Admin Head and Assistant. Like, WTF???!!! Then he said that CHC was not happy with the performance of all the existing Board Members, so they are all let go of their posts. What the friggin' hell...??!!! Not happy with my performance??!! Eh, hello! I just joined the Admin Department early this year (and that was as an Assistant), and I was only promoted to Admin Head 2 or 3 months ago!!! So how the hell can you say that you are not satisfied with my performance???!!! I haven't even really had a chance to really prove myself in the Admin Dept yet!

According to Bari, CHC was really upset about the condition of the team now, especially after the new batch of trainees. Apparently, the team is not performing up to expectations. Well, if he was so upset about it, why did he let all of the trainees into the team in the first place? Fix the existing problems first before you go recruiting new people la...you know some of the seniors' knowledge about running the lab is not that good, so what do you expect them to teach the new trainess? Surely all the information passed on will also be incorrect right? So how would you expect this new batch of trainees to excel? And the thing is, why is all this reshuffling happening now only? After the return of KimmyS (big boss) to the T&I department? Previously, CHC was really laid back about the running of the lab...but after the big boss came back, apparently CHC was under pressure about the team, then he started taking it out on us and saying that he is very unhappy about the condition and wanna change the way we work and blablabla.....Like, why didn't you do this sooner? Why wait so long until the condition is so bad and you're receiving flak from the upper levels then only you wanna do something about it? Now it's just creating a lot of discontent among the TAs (me anyway).

I'm still so pissed that I was just removed from my post without so much as a by-your-leave. As if I don't deserve some measure of respect. When I first came to my post I did everything that CHC asked me to do. He said that we're going to be audited by ISO and we need to standardize our forms...ok, I went and got all of it done. Now all the new forms are up and in use. He also asked me to help think of a solution for the problem of missing cash...ok, solution found and implemented. So what the hell do you mean that I haven't been performing my duties? And the thing is, I'm the only person doing all the Admin work. Do you know how much paperwork that entails?! Who do you think I am? Superwoman? Not only am I not shown some appreciation, I am not even accorded some common courtesy. And it's not like I'm being paid any extra wage for being the Admin Head. I get what any other normal TA does, but I have more workload.

Now, after being unceremoniously fired like that, I'm still expected to go back and train the new Admin Head and Assistant on the administration procedures. HAH!!! Fat chance! After the way I was treated, do they REALLY think that I would be willing to waste my time training the new Board Members?