Monday, November 28, 2005 | By: babedevil

Letting go.

Dear You,

I can still remember it clearly, I think even down to the very first moment I started falling for you. At first, I wasn't even interested in you that way. But then we started hanging out together a lot, and I don't know how, but you just quietly wormed your way into my heart. I loved your smile, I loved your dry wit, I even loved your 'perasan'-ness. As time passed, we grew closer and feelings grew stronger. But then you said and did some things that were very hurtful to me. Maybe you don't feel as deeply as I feel for you. Maybe I cared for you more than you cared for me. That's why you had no qualms about hurting me like you did. I was really hurt and angry at being scorned like that. I even hated you then for making me feel that way. Because of that, I used to call you names whenever I talked about you to my friends.

But now, seing what I saw tonight, finally made me realise that I'm not angry anymore. I don't even hate you at all (maybe I never really hated you in the first place). Maybe we were not meant for each other. Maybe there is someone else out there for us, but we haven't found them yet. Maybe I just imagined a lot of things that weren't really there. I don't know. Life is full of 'maybe'-s and 'could be'-s. Fate brought us together, but perhaps not for the purpose that I had hoped for.

The hardest thing now is letting go and moving on with my life. I guess my heart will mend in time, and soon all that will be left is just a scar. With this letter, I hope that somehow, someday, I wil find it easier to let you go. But know this, you will always hold a place in my heart...even though it's not the no. 1 spot anymore........Thank you for all the memories, the good and the bad. I will always cherish them....

Wistfully yours,
Friday, November 18, 2005 | By: babedevil

Free haircut that put my ass to sleep.....

EmilyBoo asked me out for a free haircut today at Toni & Guys in Lot 10. One of those things where the trainee hairstylist need some guinea pigs to test their skills on. They asked her to bring as many girlfriends as possible, so she ajak me and Celine. Appointment was at 2pm and was supposed to go after class at 12pm, but I had to wait for the stupid LAN briefing at 12.30pm. So I sat and listened to Siva talking bout nonsense, basically telling us that the LAN people are coming to do a sort of survey bout APIIT and its facilities and courses. Well, APIIT sucks!! Can I go now?

Stupid thing finally finished at around 1pm. Then jam all the way to Berjaya Times Square (parking there cheaper mah, maximum RM4...) By the time we arrived at the hairsalon, it was already 2-something pm. So no time for lunch loh...but then had to wait somemore, cause the hairstylist is not free yet. *wait, wait, wait* Then finally, he was done with the other customer. EmilyBoo went first (I guess me and Celine wanted her to go first in case the haircut goes wrong...sort of like, our guinea pig....hey, we didn't want to have to wear caps to hide hideous haircuts....). But OMG, it took AGES!!! Celine and I were sitting there for about an hour and a half. We were so sien that we decided to do a little shopping. Only got called back at 4.30pm. And guess what? EmilyBoo's haircut was only a trim! Couldn't even see the difference! We were thinking, if EmilyBoo's TRIM took almost 3 hours, how long would our CUT take??!! Thank god we both were gonna get our haircuts done at the same time cause there was another hairstylist who was free. Celine's hairstylist was Ricky, while I got William. Celine just wanted a little trim and do a side parting for her fringe (she was a little scared bout changing her hairstyle too much). I on the other hand, told William to do whatever he wanted with my hair. And that's how my hair bacame from 'almost-touching-my butt' length to just shoulder length.

EmilyBoo told me that when girls have love problems, they would almost certainly chop off their hair. I guess that it was true in my case because I just found out something that day which put me in a crappy mood (needless to say, it had something to do with a guy and my pathetic love life). So, was in a crappy mood, hungry (cause i hadn't eaten anything since breakfast), chopped off all my beautiful hair, and to top it all off I had to sit in that stupid chair for 3 hours, just for a haircut. Gosh, my perm took less time than that! My right butt cheek even fell asleep. Couldn't even feel it anymore when I finally stood up. But my hair didn't look too bad.....Didn't bring a camera, DAMN!!!

We were done at nearly 8pm. Then Celine had to go for a talk with MauriceLimauLime (she was already late by then and I guess he was a little pissed at her...), so we had no time to eat dinner together. EmilyBoo and I sent her to her talk and drove back to Bukit Jalil. I'm so hungry!!! We planned on eating together with GeekUncleMike after he gets off from work, but then EmilyBoo's mum called her to go home. So it was just the TA gang having supper together. JC and Jee Wang were gonna watch 'Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire' at midnight....earlier, they asked me to go also, but I thought that I would be too tired after coming back from KL, so I told them no. Listening to them talk about it at the mamak, I was regretting my decision. Damn! Should have said yes! *regret, regret, regret*
Thursday, November 17, 2005 | By: babedevil


Recently, I ACCIDENTLY found myself in one of my friend's Friendster inbox. And I ACCIDENTLY read one of his was kinda sensitive in nature. I was feeling so guilty while reading that mail, but I just couldn't stop myself (I have no willpower). After reading it, I was so wracked with guilt. Couldn't sleep for many nights. In the end, I decided to fess up. Over the next few days, I was creating scenarios in my head of the best ways to confess...and all of my scenarios ended badly. So by now I was a little freaked out about telling him. Needless to say, I chickened out. No need to tell him lah....what he doesn't know won't kill him, right....??? That settled it....*guilty, guilty*

Then when I was walking to class today, I saw him sitting on the bench. I thought to myself, He's alone now, if you wanna tell him you better do it's now or never....*conscience giving me a nudge* So I went and sat down beside him.

"Let's say right, if your friend ACCIDENTLY stumbled into your email account, and read a very sensitive mail.....that person knows that it's wrong and feels very guilty while reading it, but just couldn't stop reading....would you forgive that person if you found out about it? Or would you be so angry that the friendship would be ruined forever?"
"Err...if other people, then I guess they would be angry lah....but if it was me, just angry for a while then forget about it loh....So whose mail did you read?"
*innocent face* "Did I say that the person was me? Someone else could have read MY mail...."
"Oh....So whose mail did you read?"
Shit!! Quick! Evasive measures! "I'm not talking bout me! It's just a rhetorical question!"
"Ah....So whose mail did you read?"
Sigh, might as well tell him....."Ok, it's your's..."
"No, really....I read ur mail...You know there was once you didn't log out of your Friendster....I sort of found myself in your inbox............"
*silence* *me freaking out now*
"----, are you very angry.....???"
"Which mail did you read?"
"You know the one where --------------------- (*censored*)"
"Oh that one..." *suddenly smiles* "So now you know, just don't tell anyone else lah...."
"You really not angry ah?"
"No lah"
"You sure a not? You don't bluff me ah....I scared until my legs like jelly already...."
"Not angry lah....don't worry" *still smiling, thank god!* "I'm going to class now. Bye"

Then he got up and left. But I still had to sit down because my legs were like jelly, and i didn't think that they would support me if i had stood up then. Was so scared that I felt like crapping in my pants...
Friday, November 11, 2005 | By: babedevil

My Poor Toe...

My big toe on my right foot hurts like hell (courtesy of my little trip down the stairs yesterday). Feels like the nail is gonna drop off....Ewww!!!! Was so paranoid bout it falling off that I bandaged it up. Can't even let anything touch it, not even my shoe. So now I'm walking with a limp *step, drag.....step, drag....* That's not all...I even have bruises on both of my legs, 6 in total, all in the same places on both legs (ankles, shins and knees). Sigh...guess I can't wear skirts for the next 2 weeks (can probably cut it down to 1 week if I'm masochistic enough to rub my bruises to make it fade hurts, but it works....)
Wednesday, November 09, 2005 | By: babedevil


Dunno why I've been so clumsy lately. I fell down today!!! So painful!! Don't even know how it happened. I was nicely talking with my friends while walking down the stairs, then the next thing I remembered was me sitting on the steps while holding the railing...luckily my reflexes were fast, and I managed to hold on to the railing, or else I would have rolled down the stairs...lagi malu.....My legs hurt so much!!! Limped downstairs and followed my friends to McD's. Consoled myself with a Strawberry Sundae. Sigh. Dahlah got bruises, now I'm gonna get fat some more....
Monday, November 07, 2005 | By: babedevil


They were showing this Hindi movie on TV3 last night, 'Kal Ho Na Ho' (which means tomorrow may, or may not come). So I thought, what the heck, I have nothing better to do anyway. Might as well watch it. Besides, anything with Shah Rukh Khan in it is bound to make me laugh......What I didn't expect was the waterworks that it would cause me. Damn, the movie was so sad!!! Well, the 1st half of it was pretty funny lah...but after that, it started to get sad as well. And just as the story was getting interesting, they break for the midnight news. ARRGGH! So irritating! Sigh, nevermind lah. It's 12 am now, which means that it's the 7th of November already. Better call SissyDear and wish her Happy Birthday.

*tut tuut*
*muffled* "Ya....?"
"Happy birthday!"
"Oh, thank you..."
"You sleeping ah?"
"Ya, call tomorrow lah..."
"Ok then...'night!"

Heheh...So now had to wait until 12.30 am for the show to resume. Dum dee dum....*surf surf surf* Sundays have crappy shows....*look at clock*...12.09 am, argh!...*surf surf*...*look at clock again* 12.17 am, sigh....*surf surf surf*....*look at clock and wanting to bash it for being so slow*....12.28am! Maybe I should change back now....!! Heheheh, just in time....So there I was, sitting in front of the t.v at 12.30 am, crying my eyes out until 2 am. At first, it was just a little tear and a few sniffs. Then as the show progressed, I was bawling like a baby, especially at the ending. Crap! I feel like crying now, just thinking of it!

Went to bed with puffy red eyes...Woke up this morning at 6.45 am with puffy AND panda eyes (not enough sleep, have to go to college...) Went downstairs to the fridge and put my 2 Snickers bars on my eyes, hoping that the swelling would go down. Ended up eating 1 bar while getting ready. Fat fat fat! *dilly dally* *watch some t.v* Didn't feel like going for class, but as always, I would end up going anyway.

First day of college after the 'raya' holidays, and I arrived late for class. But nevermind lah, it's only Internet Applications. The lecturer doesn't even give a shit. Then I realised that I had forgotten my file. Maybe it was my subconcious trying to tell me something...I still wanna be on holiday!!!
Sunday, November 06, 2005 | By: babedevil


Last night, at around 9 pm, got a call from SissyDear.

"You have to come and pick me up"
"Huh? Why?"
"Alex's car cannot start..."

Great. Just as I was getting ready for bed. Brushed my teeth and all...(wanted to sleep early so I won't feel hungry and start eating again...fat pigs are already fat enough....) Sigh. So, got dressed and drove over to AlexBaby's place. Then had trouble at the entrance of the apartment. SissyDear had taken the gate pass card thingy. So I had to tell the guard that I had forgotten my card.

"Blok apa?"
*scribbling in his book* "Apartment nombor berapa?"
"Errrrr.....*trying to read the scribbling on the car sticker*.....AA414......??"
*scribbling, scribbling* "Lain kali jangan bagi kad kepada orang lain. Tak boleh tau..."
"Err...ok...thank you"

I think he figured out that something fishy was going, how does one forget where one lived??!!
SissyDear and AlexBaby were waiting in front of his apartment. SissyDear to AlexBaby:
"You want to let her drive ah...???"
Hey, I CAN drive you know....but I got down anyway, and let the man drive. Eh, we going somewhere ah? Then SissyDear asked me,

"Have you eaten yet?"
"Err...not really..."
Are we gonna have dinner now? Aiya, there goes my diet....
"Tesco open until what time ah? 1 am right?"
"Dunno. Why? You wanna go shopping? Now??"
"Buy jumper cables for Alex's car lah...."
Oh, ya...his car cannot start.

Had fish head curry for dinner, then bought jumper cables at Tesco. Drove back to the apartment and AlexBaby started hooking up the cables. I saw sparks and quickly backed away. Then he tried to start his car. Nothing happened. He said, "Make sure the gear is at 'P', and step on the accelerator a bit." Vrrooomm. His car started! SissyDear and me:
*jaws hanging open*

You know, I think the male species was born with this knowledge about cars and stuff. If it was me, I'd probably have blown the car up.....
Saturday, November 05, 2005 | By: babedevil


I think I have travelling bad luck. Whenever I'm travelling, something bad is sure to happen to me. It's either my plane would be delayed, or my luggage would get lost, or I'll get crappy hotel rooms, or it'll rain non-stop when I'm on name it, I've been through it.

Just arrived in KL this morning. Took the night train from SP. Lazy me bought a ticket at the last minute, so all that was left was Economy Class and the top Sleeper Bunk in 2nd class. Sitting in Economy Class for 11+ hours??!! No way!! Worse form of torture!! So the next best thing was the Sleeper bunk. I hate the top bunk, but what to do...?? The lesser of 2 evils...Sigh...(Note to myself: always buy tickets in advance during holiday season. Stupid, stupid, stupid!)

While waiting for my train, I was looking at my ticket. Hmm...Seat 3...hey, wait a minute...I got the bunk right next to the door! Shit! For the whole journey, people will be going through that door, letting in all the noisy sounds-that-a-moving-train makes. Heck, the door doesn't even have to be open and I'll still be able to hear the noise. Argh! Hope not many people will have the urge to go pee in the middle of the night....Got on the train and hoped for the best. But just as luck would have it, the automatic door beside my bunk was faulty, which means that people would have to manually press some buttons to get the door to open...though not everyone could understand the stupid instructions written on the door. Thus I got a steady stream of people going "alamak, apa hal ni?", or "there's something wrong with the door", some people even started jumping around, hoping that the sensors would kick in...So I (genius at figuring out obscure instructions) became a doorman, helping people press buttons to open stupid doors. Open sesame...

Halfway through the journey, at one of the stops, this hot Caucasian guy got on the train. And his bunk was a bunk away from mine, on the opposite side. Score! So I opened my curtains wider and sat at the edge, pretending to read a book (I was actually secretly spying on him). But after a while, he drew his curtains shut. :( So, as I also had nothing else to do and I was sick of becoming everyone's doorman, I too closed my curtains and went to sleep....or at least, I tried to....I was waking up every hour because of the noise!

At 6 am, I woke up, all grumpy and irritated 'cause of the lack of sleep. Then they announced that the train would be arriving at KL Central soon. HotGuy opened his curtains and started to put on his shoes. Heheh, now is my chance to act cool and make him fall for me! So I put on my shoes and started to get down. But what happened was, instead of the ladder, I accidently stepped on a guy who was passing by. Oh, shit! "I'm so sorry!" And as I had missed the ladder, I sort of lost my footing and stumbled to the bottom, collecting some bruises on the way down. "Ouch!" Clumsy cow! *malu* I pulled my cap down low over my face, collected my bags and practically ran out of the train as soon as it stopped at the station. Sigh, what a way to ruin a fantasy. So, NOW do you believe that I'm jinxed??!!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 | By: babedevil

Grand Launch!!!

Finally, I got my own blog!!! I always get the urge to create one whenever I'm back in Kedah (cause of the boredom) , but laziness and inertia always poses a problem....that and the fact that I'm on TMNet dial-up in Kedah.....and let me tell you, once you've experienced broadband, you're ruined forever! Comparing dial-up and broadband is like comparing a donkey-cart to a Ferrari....NO COMPETITION.

Well, now I have a blog (the result of sitting in front of the PC for 2 hours straight, just to sign up for a blog and post this).......and if you'll excuse me, I have to go and figure out what to do with this new blog of mine....