Not Caring

Sometimes I feel like when you care too much about something/someone, you leave yourself vulnerable to getting hurt. I know all that sayings about if you don't care about people, people won't care about you, ya-da ya-da. But maybe my case is a bit different. I find that it stresses me out when I care about what people are doing or saying. And this caring thingy is seriously starting to kill me.

I'm sort of the black sheep in my team. Maybe it's because they speak Chinese and I'm a certified 'banana'. Or maybe it's just because our 'senior' is the ring leader, telling the other two minions to sabotage me. Don't ask me why she's doing it or how I know...just call it a hunch.

They are always talking about stuff, even work stuff, and they just completely ignore me. It's not like I was sitting at the other end of Timbuktu office, my table is just right behind theirs for crying out loud! And the work stuff they talk about is something that I'm also in charge of, but somehow there is a participant in the conversations that has nothing to do with the task at all. When users come to me and ask a question about the task, I'm just left hanging there, without any clue as to what the heck is going on.

So everyday I have to eavesdrop on their conversations so that when I hear them talking about anything work related, I can quickly turn around and roll my chair over to their place just so I won't be left out of the loop. Do you have any idea how freaking tiring this is?!?!?!?!

Today was the last straw. I saw that one of the minions emailed a user about something related to the task I'm involved in and CC-ed the other minion but not me. So I got pissed off, and I made a concious effort to just ignore it when they are chatting on their IM without me, or leaving me out of their conversations, and boy, did it feel GOOD! I just didn't care about what they were doing or saying.

From now on I'll just do my work, lay low, and if upper management ask me why I'm not up to date with the tasks, I'll just say that I'm hired to systems configuration, not hacking into people's emails and spying on them.


P.S. I've actually talked to one minion about this and to include me in discussions next time, but so far, nothing has changed. Oh well, I think end-of-year review with upper management should be a good time to vent.

Must you raise your voice?? Does it help??
It makes me feel better!
Ok, so the next time you raise your voice, I'll raise my hand.
*wtf*
It makes me feel good.


Sarcastic or not, this month, twice he has talked about hitting me.

Addiction

Ok, ever since I started working, I've had more or less 9 hours of internet connection at my disposal. Add to that, the initial 6 months of work consisted of me basically doing nothing. So that's when I was first introduced to online shopping by the boyfriend, who opened up the world of eBay to me.

Initially, I pooh-poohed all those people who said that once you start, you can never stop. And then, I made my first purchase.

From then on, ladies and gentlemen, there was no stopping. It was the thrill of searching for stuff and doing research for the cheapest deal you could get online. Seriously, stuff online is SO much cheaper than in physical shops. I started prowling the site like a recessionista smelling a sale around the corner. And clicking the bid or "Buy it now" button everytime you see something you like never seemed easier. Granted, if you buy stuff internationally like from China, Hong Kong or US, shipping time is a b*tch, because it can take a month before it reaches you.

But eBay could only offer you so much. Which my colleague (devil in disguise?) later rectified by introducing me to Lowyat.net. That's when my condition took a turn for the worse. From a simple dress, I started taking part in makeup sprees and clothing pre-orders. I super love my E.L.F Studio makeup brushes which I got dirt cheap!

eBay and Lowyat were not my only haunts. I did venture to local blogshops to see what they were offering (even bought a pair of to-die-for pumps that are, unfortunately, too big for me *wails*), but I prefered eBay and Lowyat for the cheaper rates offered. And my hoard is growing bigger and bigger! I might need to have a yard sale soon... O.o
Of course, with online shopping, there is a risk that you might not like what you have bought when it arrives at your doorstep. Quality might be bad, colours different from what is shown, or it might not even fit you. But for me, the prices you get online is worth taking the risk. And you can negate some of the risks by doing RESEARCH. I admit, sometimes I get pretty obsessed with the research part because I don't want to end up with an item I absolutely hate. Another plus point is, I've also picked up a lot of beauty tips along the way.

So now, I have bought clothes, shoes, makeup and skincare, all online. Beauty tips were free :D

Now, with all these new stuff, I find the vainpot in me struggling to fight for domination of this currently couldn't-care-less body.

Sniff sniff~

I have an obsession with smells. If someone nice smelling happens to pass me, I will start sniffing like crazy. I have actually stopped, turned around and followed a person that smelled nice, all the while sniffing like a little puppy looking for hidden treats (discretely of course).

Someone up there was kind enough to hook me up with a guy who loves perfumes (I think he has more perfumes than I do!). And he has this deodorant I really LOVE, but which he doesn't wear that often ever since it went out of production, and he wants to save it for special occasions because he knows that I like it so much. But whenever he does wear it, the super crazy sniffing starts again. Even when we're in public. And you know where deodorants go right? Yup, ARMPITS. Well, thank god I'm short enough that when he puts his arm around me I can just discretely turn my head and start sniffing away without strangers thinking that I'm a weirdo with strange fetishes....Ahhhhh....heaven...

And that is why this morning, after the boyfriend hugged me before going off to work, some of his perfume/deodorant must have transfered to me, and I spent the entire journey to office in the car sniffing and sniffing, trying to figure out what is that scent. I couldn't put my finger on it! The scent was so faint, and just when I have given up on trying to sniff it out, it starts a little dance under my nostrils, and the sniffing starts all over again. And this continued for the better part of my morning in office. Kept messaging the boyfriend to ask him what perfume he used, but he was so slow in replying.

ARGH! The torture!!!

Smelly toilet paper

The toilets in my office have these industrial sized toilet rolls placed at the sinks. And they smell. Like, REAL bad. It smells as if those toilet rolls were made using soiled diapers and dead rats. Or maybe the dead rats were wearing soiled diapers. *rolls eyes*

Sometimes the cleaning lady even puts them in the toilet stalls when she runs out of the smaller sized, "unscented" rolls.

God knows what will start growing if I use it to wipe my va-jay-jay. *shudders*