Babedevil Must Die

I don't know what's been happening to me lately. I seem to be losing my memory (of people anyway). I'll meet someone new, spend some time with them, and then totally forget who they are the next time I meet them. Take for example:

Case 1

Scene: CincauAaron's birthday/Thomas's New Year's Eve party

I walked through the door, went to the dining table and said hi to everyone. Saw a guy wearing a black shirt. "Hmm, looks very familiar", I thought. "Must be some blogger whose blog I stumbled upon once."

Walked to the kithen and was getting some food, when from behind me I heard someone say, "Hello, Steph."

*turns around* *blink blink* "Hiiii......?"
"Sigh, You don't remember me isit?"
"Errr.....Ermmm.......*stares blankly*"
"Andrew...?"
*blink blink* "Think dammit!"
"Petaling Street......?"
*blink blink blink*
"I was shooting there with Aaron.......?"
"OHHHHHHHH!!!!! ANDREW!!!!! Omigawd, I'm so sorry!!!! I KNEW you look familiar just now!!!! So SORRY!!!"
"Hahaha...it's ok."

And I spent the next few minutes apologising profusely. Sigh. Dunno where to put my face adi...


Case 2 (even worse than above-mentioned case)

Scene: Absolute Bazaar at Subang Jaya

Was walking around looking at some clothes when I felt a tap on my shoulder from behind.

*turns around*
"Hi Steph!"
"Errrr....Hiii....."
"It's me, Suzzane!"
*puzzled smile*
"Aaron's girlfriend...?"
"Aaron??? Which Aaron??? Low? This girl looks different from his girlfriend one??? Ho? Got girlfriend meh?????!!!! Errrrrr....."
"Sara's brother, Aaron.....?"
"OHHHH!!!!! YAA!!!!! HIIII!!!! Hahahaha!"

Then I decided to dig my grave even deeper.

"Sorry la...couldn't recognize you. We've met only once before, at Sara's birthday party."
"Actually we met before that already!"
"Die.....We did???"
"Ya, at the barbeque at Sara's place....?"
"Omigosh, oh ya!!! Totally forgot about that! I'm so sorry!"
"Hahahaha....It's ok"

We continued some small talk until I couldn't tahan the embarrasment anymore and I said bye. Then I practically ran back to Lern to wail and tell him about my blond-ish moment.

And the fella laughed at me. WTF right.... -_-''



To all the people out there who have gotten this from me before, I'm so, so, soooooo sorry!!! I seriously don't mean it! *gives cookie*

Photo Love

Stumbled upon this quote while I was reading yesterday's papers.

"....you know a guy loves a woman when he cannot stop taking photos of her..." - Ekachai

Turns out I'm not the only one who agrees with that statement.

I Already Have Them

I had a dream last night. It wasn't a particularly nice dream. In fact it bordered on being a nightmare for me. I guess it was because I've been harboring this fear that I wouldn't be accepted as well as others have been.

Wanting affirmation from others is just like wanting the sun to rise in the West instead of the East; pointless and unnecessary. Getting new friends is always a nice thing, but even if they don't accept you into their circle, it's not the end of the world. I have my own friends now who accept me as I am.

Having a special connection with a new friend, that that makes you get along so well together that you can almost finish each other's sentences, is not so important, as I already have that with my existing friends.

After much thought and consideration, I'm letting go of all the wanting and needing. I've decided that it's just a waste of my precious time; time that could be better spent with loved ones. If people want to accept me into their inner circle and be close to me, then that's fine; but even if they don't want to, it's still acceptable to me. Because I know I already have friends who will be there for me (and takes the time to read my blog and Facebook to find out what's been happening in my life :) ).

So to all my friends out there, know that you really ARE appreciated.

*hugs*

P.S. Happy Chinese New Year Everyone! May you prosper and all your wishes come true.

Cincau Must Die

The other day, CincauAaron asked me a funny thing.

"err...wanted to ask very long de...did you tell ---- and ---- what present to buy for me ar?"
"no wor"
"coz the present they gave me....*shows me pic*...that tshirt...u ingat tak?"

Bugger, you know what happened? The dumdum actually thought that the present I gave him was from someone else! Ish...I was actually out shopping with him when he saw that shirt, just that the outlet didn't have his size anymore. So I decided to go to another outlet to get it for him for his birthday. Mana tau that guy so blur blur that he mistook my present for someone else's. Hmph! It was even wrongly tagged in Facebook. :s

"ahem...u better retag de pic"

Cincau, I could have killed you then....

*****

On another note, thanks Aaron for cheering me up with your 'lutsinaaarr'....

Thanks Grace-y for your webbie session.

Thanks guys for being there for me. :)

The End.

I wish there was at least a question mark at the end of the title. But as it is, there's just a period.

So I guess this will be my last MOTH.

It's weird. I don't seem to be feeling anything. In fact, I seem to be totally numb. Maybe coz this seems so surreal.

I didn't even see it coming. Woke up this morning and everything was fine. Then I was just blindsided.

The other party doesn't seem to care either. Maybe things is as it should be.

Maybe I was just looking for a reason, to see if things could survive a thunderstorm.

I guess it couldn't...

My Secret Key

I have a key
I use it from time to time
To visit old friends
That have always been mine

Try as I may
I can never let them go
But keeping them around
Hurts me so

And so I have a key
I use it from time to time
I say 'hi' and I may cry
Hoping things will get better in time

And when I'm done
I put my key
In a secret place
No one knows but me

Where Was My Christmas???!!!

I'm still kinda stuck in year 2008, and I think I know why...

Where the freaking hell did my Christmas go???!!!

Where was my Christmas gift shopping escapades at shopping malls decorated with huge Christmas trees and playing jingle-ly Christmas songs? I know where that went...I was busy in Penang with singing practice, until Christmas Eve...

Where were my crazy, zany, funny Christmas parties with Santa hats and cute reindeer antler headbands? Oh ya, busy in Penang, couldn't make it for pre-Christmas celebrations....

Where were my Christmas pressies all nicely gift wrapped and tied with a huge ribbon? Wait, Edeleen gave me one pressie that was gift wrapped, no ribbon, but still gift wrapped...and....and........THAT's IT!!! People, is it so hard to gift wrap a present???!!! Not like I don't like the presents that I received, but so 'tak syiok' only, getting a present all naked like that...I was up at 6am in the morning to wrap presents even after a long train ride home from Penang ok...!

So now it doesn't feel like I've even celebrated Christmas at all. And Christmas is a pretty important celebration for me...I don't know why, but it just is, so sue me...

New new year's resolution for 2009...make bloody hell sure you really celebrate Christmas properly this year, even if you have to ram Santa hats and reindeer headbands on people's heads and make them sing Christmas carols. Heck, I might even turn into the Christmas Nazi and whip some asses to keep that resolution.

4.12.08

Maybe I'm not so brave afterall...

Maybe I just want 'uncomplicated'...

I wish...

I wish for things as I had wished them when I was younger.

I wish for things I saw in others that I want for myself.

I wish for things that, coincidently, someone had.

I wish for things that was given to someone but not to me.

I wish to add more to MOTH but somehow I can't seem to find the heart.

I wish there was no heartache in all my wishing.


But what I wish and what is real are two different things.

So for my New Year's resolution, instead of wishing for more money or better health like everyone else, I have decided to stop wishing and expecting so much. *puts wishes in a box, locks it tight and sit staring at the key, wondering what to do with it*

Although it feels like I'm becoming someone I'm not, it's just something I have to do...

L.O.V.E.

Love.

Comes with a price tag?

To some people, they look at it from $ point of view. How much money to spend to buy something for a loved one; how much money to spend to make a loved one happy; how much money to spend to make a loved one shut up.

To others, they see it from another point of view. What are they giving up emotionally for a loved one; what dreams are they letting go of for a loved one; what thoughts and insecurities they are shutting up inside for a loved one.

It's true...it's hard to maintain a relationship.

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller

"I'd like to run away from you, But if you didn't come and find me - I would die." - Dame Shirley Bassey

My first and probably last

It started with Beethoven's Symphony No.9 in D Minor, and I guess it is fitting that my last performance will be of that symphony.

I went back to Penang on the 13th of December to prepare for the concert. It was to be held on the 23rd of December, and I couldn't get a returning train to KL on the morning of Christmas Eve, so that meant I had to spend the night of Christmas Eve on the train, counting down by my lonesome. -_-''

I've been singing since I was 13 years old. All that travelling up and down to Penang every week for practice last time was really hectic. I remember every Monday was the day I had to rush out of school to get on the road to Penang. Dinner was always a quick affair in the car, and I had to surreptitiously change my clothes with the risk of every Tom, Dick and Harry on the road catching a glimpse of my bits. Boy, I must have made some pedophiles happy on those Mondays...

It was even worse when I was having private voice lessons...Thank god I decided that singing professionally wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, which meant that I could scrap those private lessons.

But after I completed SPM and came down to KL for college, I didn't have much time for singing anymore. And during my trip back to Penang, I realised how much I missed performing. That feeling of singing your heart out in front of a live audience was exhilirating, especially when you hear the orchestra accompanying you, you just get carried away with the music. And when you hit that very high, high note perfectly...Sigh...bliss

However, most of my old friends weren't participating in the concert this time, so it wasn't the same as it was. Sigh, I miss the good old days. We used to have such crazy times together; modifying classic pieces into our own funny versions of a musical, singing loudly while climbing all those stairs to the practice hall, and making fun of the voice tutors and conductors.

All in all, I was glad that I ended my year 2008 with that performance. It was the year that I was graduating and taking on more responsibilities, so it was sort of a return to the past, looking back on all the sweet and not so sweet memories of my carefree student life. A lot of things happened to me during those old times in Penang. My recent trip there, meeting some people, reminded me of what things were and what weren't meant to be. I guess we just move on with our lives. If things didn't work out the way you planned back then, 9 years later may not change that fact.

I don't think I'll be returning for anymore performances in the future. I've got to get a job soon and that will mean even less time for singing. And I don't think travelling to Penang that often is feasible. And that's why I tried to take as many pictures as possible (notice I used the word 'tried'....stupid disposable batteries died-ed on me at the worse possible moment)!

Orchestra practicing with the conductor

In the conductor's chair...Quick, take the picture before he comes back!!!

Chorus, full dress rehersal

Orchestra, full dress rehersal

With Dr Martin Ennis, the chorus master

With Jascha Y. Shimano the conductor, and Hoong Tatt

With Kayo Takemura the soprano soloist (holding red bouquet) and her husband and some friends from chorus and orchestra.

With Khoo Hooi Lay, the alto soloist

With Stefan from orchestra

With Yee Yin

With Yee Yin and Siew Mi (OMG, I think that's it, I kinda forgot her name...I'm so sorry!) from chorus